somietimes i wish...

I wish to be a total stranger to whom i've ever known. I wanna walk to my future leaving all my past behind...commencing a new life and becoming a new person. But gradually, I think I'm still a failure. :)
I can never win over myself. That sounds pessimistic but unexpectedly, I'm one of those pessimistic girl and to those who know me well enough, they can understand why.
and recently i found myself weaker and weaker everyday :). Just a very small thing happen, i found myself sobbing already. I started being cynical again. Oh my god i always try to get rid of that word after "flowe for Algernon". unfortunately, I failed. haha.
SOMETIME I WISH TO BE A PUPPET SO I WILL NOT HAVE A BRAIN AND I'LL ONLY BECOME THOSE PEOPLE WANT ME TO BE. NO ROOM TO THINK. ALBEIT THE FACT THAT I WILL NEVER HAVE TO THINK AND GET MYSELF A HEADACHE, I'LL FOREVER BE A PUPPET. MEBE FATE WILL ARRANGE ME TO BECOME AN UGLY ONE THEN OMG MY LIFE IS TOTALLY A DOT. SO I DONT WANNA BE A PUPPET ANYMORE.
I'm really sad now. the atmosphere around me is solemn and I think the song "groomy sunday" can fit perfectly the theme song of this very moment. today is another day. tmrw is another day. i still have a long long way to move on... No, i won't give up and won't break down :) I'll keep moving on :) yay because I'm me :) haha damn funny. I'm so violate.
I'm feeling not so bad now. random. let's throw the word sad out of my head for a while. let's feel peace and happiness for a while. Let's go far away from reality for a while
:)