its a long time ever since...
it has been quite a while since i last blogged abt my screwed life T.T
it has been quite a busy time as well and it's great that i'm actually trying to be an intriguing woman but i dont's know how can i be a little bit more interesting, in a special way maybe:) but at least i know im special to some certain people...thats enough, more than enough for me...
Today was totally sad...i had been waiting for today to come, with the fire of hope burning up in me, as i thought finally WE could be staying in the same hostel...unfortunately, the more I was looking forward for this day to come, the more disappointing i got when i knew that he would not come to NJ...yet, there is nothing else can be done to inprove the situation, and when can i accept it, happily accept it, accept the fact that he's like the other side of the country...and i have never ever been to that place before during my 2 and a half years here also T.T.
Im lost :( i was speechless in front of him...actually not absolutely speechless but the convo btw me and him was meaningless, maybe had a bit of taste because we did smile to each other :D...but at least there had been smily faces for a while...the worst part had not come yet...
i reached hostel...feeling empty and weird...by watching the people moving in to my hostel, that was like a sharp knife cutting my heart seriously...i burst into tears easily like a baby...luckily my senior was there...I bet the whole bunch of people had such an amusing so called "WELCOME" from me...
and now, even though he is not here but i am left speechless again :) this maybe the worst friday of my life, the groomy one...the ugliest friday i have ever had...
i feel like crying again...since when i have become such an emo kid like this? but please lah...its hard to go thru something like this...its rili hard...all those nice thing i have thought of before i came here was like flown without wings T.T what the hell? i have been spending the past year hoping till he could come here and can smile to me everyday b4 i come to school, but dream and hope, where have you been?you are gone so fast, leaving me with only one word, HATRED :(
it has been quite a busy time as well and it's great that i'm actually trying to be an intriguing woman but i dont's know how can i be a little bit more interesting, in a special way maybe:) but at least i know im special to some certain people...thats enough, more than enough for me...
Today was totally sad...i had been waiting for today to come, with the fire of hope burning up in me, as i thought finally WE could be staying in the same hostel...unfortunately, the more I was looking forward for this day to come, the more disappointing i got when i knew that he would not come to NJ...yet, there is nothing else can be done to inprove the situation, and when can i accept it, happily accept it, accept the fact that he's like the other side of the country...and i have never ever been to that place before during my 2 and a half years here also T.T.
Im lost :( i was speechless in front of him...actually not absolutely speechless but the convo btw me and him was meaningless, maybe had a bit of taste because we did smile to each other :D...but at least there had been smily faces for a while...the worst part had not come yet...
i reached hostel...feeling empty and weird...by watching the people moving in to my hostel, that was like a sharp knife cutting my heart seriously...i burst into tears easily like a baby...luckily my senior was there...I bet the whole bunch of people had such an amusing so called "WELCOME" from me...
and now, even though he is not here but i am left speechless again :) this maybe the worst friday of my life, the groomy one...the ugliest friday i have ever had...
i feel like crying again...since when i have become such an emo kid like this? but please lah...its hard to go thru something like this...its rili hard...all those nice thing i have thought of before i came here was like flown without wings T.T what the hell? i have been spending the past year hoping till he could come here and can smile to me everyday b4 i come to school, but dream and hope, where have you been?you are gone so fast, leaving me with only one word, HATRED :(
posted by lynna at
12:18 AM
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